Jailhouse Rock
by FanFicRockkz15
Summary: A story based on Tyler Perry's hit show, House of Payne
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 (Intro.)**

"What's up family?" exclaimed Calvin as he strolled into his parents' home.

"Go away!" replied Curtis.

"Don't listen to him baby, he jus' mad 'cause we ran outta pork chops," called the sweet Ella, "come on in, Suga,"

"Has anyone seen Miranda lately?" Calvin asked

Ella answered, "You mean she hasn't been home?"

"Naw I ain't seen her for like fo' hours."

"That's odd," Curtis joined in unwelcomed, "she was just here yesterday,"

"Why was she here?"

"She asked us for some-,"

"UNCLE CURTIS!!" Curtis had been interrupted by Jasmine.

"Malik's putting his feet in my face and they stiiiink!"

"Whatever she's tellin' you is a lie!" was Malik's only response.

"Anyway, what did Miranda ask you for?" Calvin was starting to get worried.

"She asked for some money,"

"Money? We got plenty o' dat!"

"Correction: she got plenty money!" CJ had just walked in the room, wanting to join in on the laugh.

While everybody had a laugh, Calvin couldn't make sense of Miranda asking his own family for money. I mean she had made him co-owner of the barbershop and paid the bills on time every month. It just didn't add up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Hello, police?"

"Yes sir, what's your emergency?"

"My wife has gone missing! I checked with her family and all her snooty friends but I can't find her nowhere!"

"Calm down sir, how long has she been missing?"

"3 days,"

"OK well we will put out an alert on her and send the squad to look. What's your wife's name?"

"Miranda Payne,"

"You don't mean Miranda Payne of Atlanta?"

"Yes!" He was so hopeful.

"Brown hair? Brown eyes? About 5 foot 3? Highlighted hair?"

"Yes sir, yes sir!! That's my wife! You know where she is?!"

"Why yes I do but I don't think you'll be too happy with the location,"

"Hell yeah I'll be happy with that, that's my frikkin' wife!!" His patience was running thin.

"OK, if you insist,"

"Hold on, lemme get a pencil,"

"Ready?"

"Yeah. Go 'head,"

"She'll be spending the night in our holding cell,"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

By now, Calvin was furious on the highway, going about 90 mph. _I don't understand, I just don't understand this._ He thought to himself repeatedly.

"Baby, I'm comin'!!!" Calvin screamed to no one in particular. He finally pulls up to Atlanta's Jail house.

"Miranda, Miranda!!" he exclaimed as soon as he hit the door.

"I'm...I'm right hhhere, baby," Miranda stuttered from her holding cell.

"Hold on there cowboy, you're gonna need a boatload o' money to get your woman out for this one," a southern officer told Calvin as he ran toward the love of his life.

A crushed Calvin responded, "What is dat supposed to mean?"

"I_ me__an _," the officer started, opening the charge book, flipping to the Ps, "we got girly here booked for 2 oz. of pure Nicaraguan coke. Uncut.

"2 ounces?! You negro sissy!!" cried a hopeless piece of trailor trash from the next cell.

"Coke? What? But she was just...and I just thought...and she was gon'..."

"Calvin, baby, we got over here as soon as we heard...my God Janine!!" Ella caught a glimpse of Miranda, but in a lighter skin, she saw Janine.

"Oh so, what now, I go off for a little while and all of a sudden, I'm Janine?! I swear 'fore God, the Payne family can drive somebody out dey mind!!"

"Beeotch, you don't deserve to talk right now after what you doin' to my family!" CJ out himself in the conversation after taking a little too much, "and don't you ever compare yo'self to my wife; at least she cleaned up her act for her kids!"

"Don't bring yo' fo' mistakes in dis!"

"Say that a little louder, Miranda!

"CJ, stop please!!" Ella had to come in and keep everybody from doing something irrational. CJ was so ready to pounce on Miranda, the iron bars wouldn't have been able to take it.

"Curtis, take CJ to the car before he hurt somebody, please."

"Okay, but I'ma be back to get this mess straightened out!"

"Calvin, don't let her do this to you boy, you don't deserve it!!" CJ called out as Curtis did his best to restrain him.

But Calvin didn't hear CJ. He was on the cool floor of the jail doing what his heart begged him to – cry.

"Lord Jesus I ask that you help us in here today for this is too big for us!"

Ella paced back and forth reciting this prayer for comfort. She was so used to being the Super Glue of the family, that she became weak and almost collapsed.

"Hold on dere Lady!" shrieked the officer, trying to help her up.

"Oh, I'm sorry officer but I'm just so confused. What's goin' on with my family?"

"Well, I dunno about the whole family, but I know we found this one here at an ancient crack house," started the officer, pointing to Miranda in her holding cell. Ella couldn't help but to think that she resembled a lion in there, "with some nose candy hangin' off her nose and after me and the boys took her down, we found about 2 oz. in her pocket for a late-night snack I presume.

"No Jesus!! Not again, please no!"

"You'd better be _thanking _the almighty on account o' your daughter-in-law almost racked up some arson charges: as soon as we got her in the car, the place blew up in smoke so high it could reach my Granmamma Mae in heaven. After the fire was put out, we found out that it was just another druggie tryin' to kill hisself.

Now Curtis had just walked in to hear the officer's story.

"Wait, I know you didn't say there was a fire!"

"why yessir I did! What are you fixin' to do about it, fella?"

The two men were face to face now.

"I'm the biggest fire chief Atlanta don' seen; how come I ain't heard bout no fire?!?!" Curtis popped back.

"'Cause we knowed the cotton-pickin' fire was a arson in the first place!" said the officer.

"Curtis, Curtis wait. Where is our son? Ella became worried.

"Where is who?" Curtis was still in the moment of arguing.

"Where is Calvin? He was just on the floor a minute ago and now he's not there, anymore."

"I'll check the car baby, don't worry." As he said this, Curtis came as close as he ever had to side-swiping the officer's shoulder on his way outside. But deeper than that, he hated seeing his wife worry her little head over _another _crack head. Not again.


End file.
